Excerpt from the how to book Husband Hunting 1A

CHAPTER 6 – WHERE TO MEET MR. FANTASTIC


… “What’s that young lady? I’m sorry to hear you are disappointed. It’s not my fault that the drunken dreamboat you met last night gave you the wrong telephone number.”

… “It just keeps giving you a busy signal when you call? What do you expect from some bum you met at a raunchy bar at 2 AM? That is not the proper hunting ground for you to find your mate. While you’re at it, stop calling that number. It’s the IRS hotline. You don’t have those kinds of problems too, do you? Sometimes life has more questions than answers. You have to learn to go with the flow.”

Try finding your mate for life in a decent place. That way you might find someone decent. How about going to a church social for singles.

… “Yes young lady, there are men who want to meet a nice girl.”

… “No, not every man that goes to a church social is a loser or a wimp. The only losers are the young ladies who don’t try and find a decent guy.”

… “OK, so you’re not so young. There are plenty of guys who are not so young either. Get in there and mix it up. You and Mr. Potential are not getting any younger you know. At least at your age you are both probably trying to find each other. See we have a meeting of the minds and common objectives. That means there’s hope. Get to work. Time is running out.”

Having hope is key to success number five.

Sorry young ladies, I don’t have a list of places for you to go to stalk your intended right now. Make up your own list. If you spent more time researching your options and opportunities, this might go a lot easier. But be careful of trying to find your future love on the Internet. You can run into a lot of weirdoes there. If you do use the Internet try a dating service. The better ones prescreen their applicants. You might try the library. You do remember where the library is, don’t you? Maybe Mr. Right is doing some research at the library. You could stalk him in the stacks and get to see how he stacks up.

If you do try to find Mr. Unbelievable through the Internet, or the classified section of a magazine, here is a super special trick to make sure he hasn’t tricked you with the picture of himself that he sends you. Agree to meet him at a busy hotel for a drink. Tell him you will be wearing a black dress with a white carnation, and find out what he is going to wear. Then don’t wear the black dress wear something pink or blue and no carnation.

If you gave him your photo, change your hairstyle and wear sunglasses. That way since you know what he is wearing and he doesn’t know what you are wearing or look like, you can check him out without wearing yourself out.


Boy, I am getting worn out from all this dressing and undressing. Anyway, if you don’t see some man wearing what he is supposed to be wearing that can only mean that he is trying to play the same trick on you, is a no show, or gave you a phony photo. Wait twenty minutes and head for the bar. By this time you will probably need a drink.

When you walk in look around. The three hundred-pound guy at the end of the bar with the warts on his nose is probably your blind date. Go directly to the bathroom, and then leave through the back door. This is definitely not Mr. Wonderful. I hope you are not worn out by now, but it is better to be wary than worn out trying to make small talk to some short fat slob you wish you never agreed to meet in the first place.

Am I getting too chatty? Are you following all this? It is confusing, isn’t it? But then when you try to trick someone you may end up fooling yourself.

Have you thought about asking some of your married girlfriends to fix you up? This might be an easier tact to take. Their husbands probably have male friends still hanging around to watch football that your girlfriends would like to get out of the house. Tell them this way everyone wins. It’s worth a shot. What have you got to lose? You have got to make an effort. Stop wasting time. Pretty soon all your girlfriend’s husband’s male friends will be so glued to the couch watching football on TV that nothing will move them.

I’ve got a great idea. Why don’t you submit your best idea about where to find a husband on my blog – http://husbandhunting123.blogspot.com? We could have a contest to see whose ideas are best. I mean besides mine of course. I will print the ten best ideas in a second printing of my book. You could become famous, but of course remain anonymous if you want. We could do the same thing if you have a great question and need some of my terrific advice. Isn’t that marvelous? Aren’t I brilliant? Isn’t life wonderful? The most important rule to the contest is that your idea or question has to relate to at least two keys to successfully hunting down your man.

… “I know you don’t know all the keys to a successful hunt yet young lady – keep reading. I am going to give you all the answers. I am going to give you all the keys to a successful hunt. I am going to tell you what to do and what not to do. Isn’t that wonderful?”